Appearance jokes

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair back, she looks 15.

Biggest joke?

[Image of Zac Efron]

Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back.

Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"

"Knock knock?"

"Mustache."

"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"

What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?

A feminist has hair.

Your hairline pushed too far back.

Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D

Like if you think oily men are hot.

I told her roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you! MF😅🤣😂

One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!

Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.

Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.

There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.

White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"

I told my wife her eyebrows were too high.

She looked surprised.

You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.

What is Trump's favorite snack?

Cheetos.

(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)

If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.

Yo mama so ugly,

my screen cracked when she took her photo!