Appearance jokes
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
I told my wife her eyebrows were too high.
She looked surprised.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Memes
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!