Appearance jokes
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
I told my wife her eyebrows were too high.
She looked surprised.
Memes
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
You have more chin than brain cells!
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slicker hair back she looks 15.