Appearance jokes

Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.

Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.

Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Your forehead is so big, you could roast meat on it.

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.

Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.

Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"

All dumbs aren't blonde.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"

I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

She said, "Why?"

I said, "'Cause it's your twin."

Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?

Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life.)

You have gaps in your teeth, looks like your tongue is in jail.

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.

There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.

White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"