I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
Appearance Jokes
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
All dumbs aren't blonde.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
You have gaps in your teeth, looks like your tongue is in jail.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
You have more chin than brain cells!
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.
Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.
Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.
