Appearance jokes

Roast

You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!

Ya forehead so big Sakura's forehead seemed small.

You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.

Bro, yo goofy ahh hairline lookin' like a rhombicosidodecahedron.

Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!

Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!

Yo hairline so ugly, it looks like a newfound constellation.

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

All dumbs aren't blonde.

Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"

My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"

I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

She said, "Why?"

I said, "'Cause it's your twin."

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life.)

You have gaps in your teeth, looks like your tongue is in jail.

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.