Appearance jokes

Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.

Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?

Boyfriend: You're both!

Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?

Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.

If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.

Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.

Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.

Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.

I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"

The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"

"Yellow and far apart."