Appearance jokes
Your hairline is so far back that the United States got a front row seat!
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
Your hairline is so nonexistent, even the universe couldn't find it.
Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.
This is my Kid <3
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
My pits are hairy, but my I can carry.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.
Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.
Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.
Husband: The second we entered the beach,
Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."