Appearance jokes

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?

Son: A ugly girl.

Dad: Why not a pretty girl?

Son: A pretty one might run away.

Dad: So an ugly one might too.

Son: Yeah, but who cares?

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.

A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.

You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.

Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.

A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.

I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!

How do you know you’re ugly?

If you always get handed the camera for group photos.

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.

Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.

I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."