Appearance jokes

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

You're so skinny that every time you get an X-ray, you call it a selfie.

Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.

Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

Your hairline is more curved than James Charles' gender.

Yo, hairline start at the back of yo head.

Your hairline goes back to the first century.

You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.

Your hairline is so long it reaches your toes.

Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.

Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"

You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.

What do you call a fat motivational speaker?

Four chin teller.

If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.

Yo hairline is so bad, it is worse than Vegeta's.