Appearance jokes

I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.

My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.

I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.

You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.

I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.

My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

I thought I saw Jojo Siwa... no wait, it's your hairline.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.

Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.

Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.