Anti-jokes
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
Why is Donald Trump president?
So he can deport Mexicans to Mexico.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
fff.
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What is the similarity between a joke and food? Some people just don't get them!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? No? They both got six months.