Anti-jokes
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
I have breakfast with my boys.
Wow, this group is a joke, like my life.
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
What do you call a PEIS?
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
You're gay, except it...
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?