Anti-jokes
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What rock has four men that don't sing?
One Direction.
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
It's still called a "cow."
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
The earth is flat.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.