Anti-jokes
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
Fuck burger.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Penis.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.