Anti-jokes
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so it could get a real joke? Ha, ah, ah, ha!
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
Please don't kill [me].
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
The joke is me.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
Look in a mirror.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? No? They both got six months.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.