Anti-jokes
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
I have breakfast with my boys.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
All of the jokes are just abuse.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
ASDA.
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
Wow, this group is a joke, like my life.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
It's still called a "cow."
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight.
The earth is flat.