What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Knock Knock Whos there? Youre adopted
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
What is Beethoven doing right now? Nothing, because he is dead.
roses are red violets are blue she is hot but you're as ugly as poo
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind yo f...ing buisnes like damn
