Animal jokes
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like it.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You'd run away too if your name was OAhHhPrhhHK.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.