When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Animal Jokes
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
Because he was a chicken!
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes, houses can't jump at all.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
