Animal jokes
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
Memes
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!