Animal jokes
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Memes
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?
A jump rope!
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.