Animal jokes

What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"

What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?

The frog might be on his way to a gig!

Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?

You'll get jur ass kicked.

The last thing I said to my dog was,

"Play dead."

What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂

Why did the squirrel swim on his back?

To keep his nuts dry.

RIP Harambe.

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.

Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?

Dogs get loved.

What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?

Its rings!

What did the evil chicken lay?

Deviled egg.

What type of horse can jump higher than a house?

All houses can't jump.

What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?

Web Cartoons!

What kind of udder likes McDonald's?

Udderly unhealthy.

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side.