Animal Jokes

Why did the man sit in his porch and bark at the postman when he came? Because his dog had a sore throat!

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant

A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...

A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.

"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"

Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"

"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?" Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"

"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?" Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"

What do you call a animal with 3 eyes 2 mouth 6 noses and 4 ears

“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?” “Yes” “Did you hang ‘em?”

So I stayed at my friends house for a few days and I was like omg why so I am going home because I’m going to my best friend house

Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?-They’re a bunch of cheetahs

Question: How did the cat cross the river.

Answer: It didn’t, It drowned.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer

AOT > ur fav anime

what do you call a animal flouting

super bird

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow? -- You stop milking a cow after 15 years.

Dark Jokes R Like Pupies:

Once they come out they r trash but one it starts to get older that’s when it’s noticed but when it gets to old u either proclaim it dead or never talk about it

( I would never do dat though I love pupies )

One hot day a cow wanted some shade. He found a tree and started resting under it but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed "Moooove", the chicken didn't move, again "Mooooove", and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled "MOOOOOVE", the chicken turned around and said "FUCKOFF".

A horse a fox and a bunny join together and make a rock band they started doing tiny gigs but they got famous and went on tour they all got so famous it went to their heads and the band disbanded the fox made his and bunny made her own the horse was sad that the band was no more so he went to a bar and the bartender asked why the long face

a guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if its relephant. he says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.