Animal

Animal jokes

Cat

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

Whale

What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.

Memes

Shark

What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?

A slow swimmer...

Bee

Why did the bee get into trouble?

Because he wasn't beehiving very well!

Bee

What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?

"Beehive yourselves!"

Dog

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Egg

What's the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Camel

Why are camels known as ships of the desert?

Because they’re full of Arab semen.

Mosquito

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

Dog

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

Viagra

What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?

A male Duck on Viagra.