Animal jokes
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
yes
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.