Animal jokes
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?
A jump rope!
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled egg.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.