Animal jokes
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂
RIP Harambe.
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled egg.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.