Animal jokes

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?

The cow never made it.

Why was the chicken in trouble?

For using fowl language!

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

What is a cow that's good at math good for?

Meat pie.

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?

Because they have a hare-line.

What did the frog do when his car broke down?

It was toad.

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Joe: Why?

Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.

Jimmy: Knock knock.

Joe: Who’s there?

Jimmy: It’s the chicken.

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^

A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.

Why did the chickens cross the road?

To get to KFC.