Animal jokes
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.