Animal jokes

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

A. Because it has a silent pee.

What does a gorilla attorney study?

The law of the jungle.

Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?

Because they have a hare-line.

The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.

When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.

What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?

Ape Suzettes.

Why was the chicken in trouble?

For using fowl language!

What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.

What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?

A Tyrannosaurus Tex.

Why didn’t the cat cross the road?

Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?

The cow never made it.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Nothing, they can't talk.