Animal jokes
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
RIP Harambe.
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled egg.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.