Animal jokes
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
Because he was a chicken!
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Yo mama so stupid, she joined the Squid Game as a sea life lover because she thought it was a game of whoever catches the most octopuses wins.
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!