Animal jokes
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
Memes
bro what?
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
RIP Harambe.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
What do you call a united cow? A united steaks! 🤣🤣🤣