Animal jokes
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, that's why.
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"