Animal jokes
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.