Animal jokes
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
A cow in an earthquake is called a milkshake.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Where do whales get weighed?
The whaleway station.
Bants ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahashahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
GOOGOO?
RTY!
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"