Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
Animal Jokes
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
