Animal jokes
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.