Animal jokes
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Now their owner is dying.
HAHAHAHA
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
Why couldn't the penguin cross the road?
It was ran over. 🐧
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
Roses are red, get on your knees, and bark for me!
Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?
Because it was Halloween!
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.