Animal jokes
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Guys I cant see him
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
MAGAnon is the goat.
🦆🦆🦆
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."