Animal jokes
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
Memes
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.