Animal jokes
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
Memes
bro what?
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.
Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.
Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.
Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.