Animal jokes
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
Memes
water puppy
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
What do cats have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!