Animal jokes
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
Aren't I beary good?
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.