Animal jokes
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Mole
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!