Animal jokes
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
Memes
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"