Animal jokes
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!