Animal jokes
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
no! I will protect jerry!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
This boy's eyebrow was so bushy, everyone thought that it was a squirrel tail! XD
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.