Animal

Animal jokes

Squirrel

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

Octopus

Why did the octopus cross the road?

'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.

Cow

What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?

Beef strokin' off.

Cat

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

Bee

According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.

  • 1
  • Memes

    Pigeon

    Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

    A: A suicide bomber.

    Loyalty

    Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

    Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

    Whale

    Me: So you two girls are from England?

    Girls: Wales.

    Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.

    Boss

    Bosses are like seagulls.

    They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

    Lion

    Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?

    Because they like to EAT FLESH.

    Bedtime

    Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

    Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

    Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

    Dog

    I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

  • 2
  • Panther

    What did the panther say at the poker party?

    I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.

  • 2