Animal jokes

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

How did the cheetah greet other animals?

Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

Why did the octopus cross the road?

'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.

What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?

Beef strokin' off.

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.

Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

A: A suicide bomber.

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

Mole

Me: So you two girls are from England?

Girls: Wales.

Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.

A baby seal walked into a club.

What do you call a violent fish?

A smackeral!

Bosses are like seagulls.

They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

Animal jokes, eh?

Toucan play at that game.

Why did the bee get married?

Because she found her honey.

Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?

Because they like to EAT FLESH.

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

What did the panther say at the poker party?

I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.