Animal jokes
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
Memes
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.