Animal jokes
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
A seal walks into a club.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.