Animal jokes
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.