Animal jokes
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!