Animal jokes
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
A seal walks into a club.
Memes
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"