[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Animal Jokes
A seal walks into a club.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
