Animal jokes
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college? Bye-son.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA