Animal jokes
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
Goose from Untitled Goose game be like
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
Why is the koala not a bear?
It doesn't have the right koalafications.
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?
It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hiss-tory!
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."