Animal jokes
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
I want to die.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
Which part of a fish weighs the most? The scales!
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?