Animal

Animal jokes

Bear

What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?

About a few thousand miles.

Dog

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

Chicken

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

Memes

Cow

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.

"Heard of what?"

"Herd of cows."

"Of course I've heard of cows."

"No, a cow herd."

"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

Woman

What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.

Koala

Why was the Koala Bear so clever?

Because he had good koalifications!

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  • Cow

    What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

    "Deja moo!"

    Rapist

    What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?

    At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.

    Pigeon

    Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?

    I mean, the one I fucked died.

    Cock

    Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

    Sheep

    What’s a sheep’s favorite song?

    "Baby Don’t Herd Me."

    Cow

    Two cows were hiding.

    One said: "Moooo."

    The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"

    Fish

    One day a cow ate a fish.

    What came out the other side?

    A dead fish.