Animal jokes
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What do you call a three humped camel?
A prostitute from New York.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!