Animal jokes
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
I like tortles.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0