Animal

Animal Jokes

Cow

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.

"Heard of what?"

"Herd of cows."

"Of course I've heard of cows."

"No, a cow herd."

"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

Woman

What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.

Koala

Why was the Koala Bear so clever?

Because he had good koalifications!

  • 0
  • Cow

    What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

    "Deja moo!"

    Rapist

    What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?

    At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.

    Pigeon

    Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?

    I mean, the one I fucked died.

    Cock

    Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

    Cow

    Two cows were hiding.

    One said: "Moooo."

    The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"

    Fish

    One day a cow ate a fish.

    What came out the other side?

    A dead fish.

    Eagle

    Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?

    Because it's ill-eagle.

  • 0
  • Chicken

    Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.

    Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To get to the retard's house.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    The chicken.

  • 2
  • Bull

    What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?

    Bullying.

  • 2