A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
How do fish get to school?
On a octobus.
Lol.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
