Animal jokes
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.
Memes
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaay!
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”