Animal jokes
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
What's a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.
-THE END-
This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
What do you call a fish with no booty?
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
What bird is good at gaming? A game bird.
What food does a Cheetah eat?
Cheetos!