Animal jokes
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotofpuss.
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
If an orphan was an animal, it would be an owl because they don't know "WHOOO" their parents are.
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
What is the difference between a human and a bird?
A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled egg.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”