Animal jokes
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
I SAID GO TO BED BEFORE I SLAP THOSE SPOTS OFF OF YOU!
Duck!!
Where??
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
"Quack, quack."
Orphans are monkeys.
squint your eyes
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
What did the cow jump over?
The Moon.
Shaenaya likes goat dick.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.