What do you call gulls in the sea? Seagulls!
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
Why are toads born with balls on their body?
Because they want more attention!
Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?
There's nothing worth shitting on.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.
What did the turtle tell the man? To keep being 5G7T4IPK24O[\]TWERGWREWGRGR.
Why do duckies wipe after they poop?
Their butt quack.
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
Which animal is the least trustworthy?
What’s the name of this brand? *picture of puma logo*
Them: Puma
“Puma balls in yo mouth.”
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
