Animal jokes
How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
What did the duck say to the pond?
"Fuck Trump."
Like if you blow male cows?
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p