Animal jokes
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
What did the rooster say to the hen? Goodbye.
Why are mice bad singers?
They are very cheesy.
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt?
Because he wanted it to smell good.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog night?
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
Why couldn't the penguin cross the road?
It was ran over. 🐧
What do you call a retarded duck?
Fuck duck and lick my balls.
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks wherever they went.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"