Animal jokes
Why are mice bad singers?
They are very cheesy.
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Memes
very interesting keep talking
Why couldn't the penguin cross the road?
It was ran over. 🐧
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
What do you call a retarded duck?
Fuck duck and lick my balls.
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks wherever they went.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon.
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
"You're fat as a cow."
"......."
"Nope."
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!