Animal jokes
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Why wasn’t the rabbit jumping?
Because he was dead.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
Sure, just tell me how to put on a mask.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What can fly?
Bird.
You
You
You're the cow.
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.