Animal jokes
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.