Animal jokes
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
hmmm
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
What do you call a cow that sleeps?
A bulldozer! 🐄💤
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!