Animal jokes

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

Q: What do gay horses say?

A: "Geigh!"

What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?

An undercover pooper.

Why do asses make terrible spies?

Because they always CRACK under pressure.

What do you call an ass on a beach?

Sandy cheeks!

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.

I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉

What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.

You look like a cat.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.

What happens when you cross a pig and karate?

A pork chop!

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)