Animal jokes
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Moo!
Cow: I was just about to say that!
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What's a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because they have smelly feet!
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!