Animal jokes
What happened to the dog that crossed the road?
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Meet your new evil overlord
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
I have a big cock.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
What has four legs and an arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
My dog died. I'm so sad.