Animal jokes
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Memes
Moo!
Cow: I was just about to say that!
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What's a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
7000+ bats.
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!