Animal jokes
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
What do you call a pig in the mud?
A Ky hot brown.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
What do you call a fish with no I? A fshhhhhh!
I’m new
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
You look like a cat.