Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
Animal Jokes
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What do you call a cow that sleeps?
A bulldozer! 🐄💤
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
What do you call a chicken that was cared for? A tendered chicken.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
To fuck the chicken.
