Animal jokes
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
I like catles
Goats are so lazy these days. Computers have more RAM.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
What is a dog?
A pet.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
What is a meatball without spaghetti? A cow.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)