Animal jokes
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.