Animal jokes
Q: How would a chicken leave?
A: Through the exit.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean meat.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
What's a cheetah's fav food?
Fast food!