Animal jokes
What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.