Animal jokes
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows say, "Moo, not who."
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?
Because he's always spotted.
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What do cheetahs say?
"Cheese-ah!"
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.