Animal jokes
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
What's green then red all over?
A frog in a blender! :)
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Dodo.
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.