Animal jokes
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
Memes
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
When do cows moo? Moosday.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.