Animal jokes

The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.

Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.

That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀

What did the horses say to the donkeys?

"Jackasses, please like!"

What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?

Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.

A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

I brought a cow and named him Mayo.

Mayo Neighs!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Grounded beef.

Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.

What do you call a bear with no ear?

B.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"

Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.