Animal jokes
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!
What do cheetahs say?
"Cheese-ah!"
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I am mis-steak.