Animal jokes
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
Memes
What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?
"Romeow and Drooliet!"
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.