Animal jokes
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
What's so wrong about Trump being in office?
He steals all the cats.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.