Animal jokes
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
I love ❤️ dogs.
What has a dog?
People.
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
Memes
Wy can't a dinosaw ror? Becase it losed it's voucal kord.
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
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