Animal jokes
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜
Memes
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.