Animal jokes
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Why did the cheetah go to school?
To be a cheetah.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
The chicken is so fat.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
Why do cheetahs always win the race? Because he cheats, duh!
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.