Animal jokes
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
JAW don't know sh*t!
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
Memes
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
What do you call a priest that is a furry?
A Catholic.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
Why did the robot cross the road?
Because he was programmed by the chicken!
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.