Animal jokes
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
Memes
cat..............Just a cat here
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
JAW don't know sh*t!
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.