Animal jokes
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
Goosebumps
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
Why did the dog cause the fight?
Because it was a bulldog.
What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.