Animal jokes
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
*Side eye*
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.