A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What is a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!!!!!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
A man walked into a bar. No wait, a horse,
A man walked into a horse.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
