Animal jokes
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was depressed.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
I rescued a birdie
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.