Animal jokes
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?
Some people adopt orangutans.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman? Frostbite!
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
I kicked a goose, and I liked it!
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.