Animal jokes
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What do cows like to do?
Cow-culating!
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.