Animal jokes
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Where did my rabbit go?
*crunch*
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
What do you call a fish and a guitar?
Tunafish.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
What do you call finding half of a worm?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks wherever they went.
Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?