Animal Jokes


What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.


What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean Beef.

not you

there are 5 cats on a boat and 1 jumps off. how many are left?- 0 they were copy cats


What You Call a magic owl? Hoo Dini


What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi

Rude Jokes

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Hold its nose.

Worst joke ever.


What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.


Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts? – In the mooseum.

Zoey Long

What do you call a lesbian dinosour? Lick-alot-a-pus


What do dogs do when they lose their tail? – They go to the retail store.

in Puns

Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?

It’s an ARMadillo


I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I don’t remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you thick he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one and I ended it by saying, “Ok, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]” Welp that’s it.


What do you call a sad Doge? What? Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!


Does your cat scratch you?Yeah ,I need gave him payback ,but now he won’t respond.

retired grocer

The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says "I can’t believe I did that for 2 bucks!"


I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys… Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey?!

im really lonely

What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.


what do crows get after they buy a phone? a cawing card


A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter…The Bartender looked at him and said, “We have a drink named after you”. The Grasshopper replied, “Who names a drink Steve?”


What happens when animals do a squat?

It doesn’t become pretty…