Animal jokes
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
Memes
SAY IT OR YOUR GOING TO HELL
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
Donkeys are cool.