Animal jokes
When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?
On Black Friday!!!
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
What happened to the dog that crossed the road?
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
You gonna poop someday.
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!