Animal Jokes

What do cows like to do? COW-culating

Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake? "Baa" "dumm" "tsss"

What do you call a otter video game that is about robbing?- Grand Theft Otter!

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would bexpect bagels.

A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don't lay eggs.

where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it

IN AUSTRALIA, MY JOKES ARE HIGH KOALA-TY

What do you do with a dog that has no legs, - Take him for a drag

there are 5 cats on a boat and 1 jumps off. how many are left?- 0 they were copy cats

Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose!

Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because there dead.

What do you call a dictatorial cow?

Moosilini

What is a pig cross pineapple. A porkypine!

why did the chicken cross the road?-it didn't

I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the man orders a beer one for him and one for the giraffe. After they finish their drinks the giraffe falls over and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door. The bartender says "Stop! you can't leave that thing lying on the floor" The man says "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe".

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

I was going to tell you a cow joke...

but it's pasture bed time.

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.