Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: hey, what are you doing?
Child: oh I just milked one of your cows
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls
Child: *realizes*
What do you call a alligator that cant geg hard. A reptile disfunction
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk
Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!
god creating cats GOD:make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of ANGEL:ok.......................................anything else GOD:YES PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
friend: “ whats that on your arm” me: “ oh nothing just decided i wanted to cosplay a tiger “
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
YOU GET A MILKSHAKE!
What does a cow say when he remembers something? "I have deja moo!"
how do you pet a psychopaths cat?
you get it out of the microwave
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? -- One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
