Animal jokes
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
You got a pig head!
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like it.
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
What do you call a fish with no neck?
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.