Animal jokes
What did the shark say when it ate the clownfish?
It tasted funny!
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
What did the dog say to the other dog?
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .