How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.
What is a school shooter’s favorite animal??
A Desert Eagle
What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer : Chi-ca-go
What is a animal that is always at a baseball game?
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? – A bat.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? – Beef jerky.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Animal jokes, Eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don’t lay eggs.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears? Because they dont meet the koalafications
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
What kind of Bees make milk?
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.