I'd hit you but if I did I'd go to jail for animal abuse
what do cheetahs do when they get a test? they cheat!!!
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you? Because they stinks and now the room smells like elephant shit.
Student: There is 505 rocks in a car, if 8 fall out how many are left Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left Student: Ok!! Student: How do you put a alligator in a closet Teacher: You can't it wont fit Student: No!! Student: Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door Teacher: Ohhh now i get it
What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?
An ASSHole.
Why are chickens so awesome ? (Bcauseeee) Chicken noise
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.....The Bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you". The Grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
What did the shark say when it ate the clownfish It tasted funny
Why don't people sit next to the cheatah during a test Because he's a cheatah
why do cheetahs never get an A+on a test-they always cheetah
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" UwU
they killed a whole family of crows.. it was a murder!... they killed a bunch of ravens..what a conspiracy!!
what do crows get after they buy a phone? a cawing card
why did the crows form a charity? because its all for good caws!
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”
Then it all happened
The fly dropped six inches
The fish came up and caught the fly
The bear came out and caught the fish
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich
The mouse went for the sandwich
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
How do you know if an Asian has broke into your house? Your dog is gone. ;)
First Man: My dog's got no nose. Second Man: How does he smell? First Man: Awful.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
