Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes
An apple a day, or you'll die any way
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips
I had a dog with an eating disorder. He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
why don't you fart in a apple store
because they don't have any windows
What’s the difference between a hoe and a roster? A roster says cockle doodle doo and a hoe says any cock will do
When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh.. I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO
Why don’t cows 🐄 have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
I like my women like I like my microwaves Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
A woman walk into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
I went to the Dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books, Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me? He didn't give me any. I was made by the devil.
Why don't orphans have any friends
Because they don't have homies
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
if your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
