Ani jokes
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Why couldn’t the principal call the orphan's parents?
Because he doesn’t have any.
I can't think of any jokes.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Ni tshike mbangi bcz ani zaha toilet, nikarhi Ni hlometela out side loko tiniba. Ni hlometela ndzeni ka poto.
I don’t know any…
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.