Age jokes
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Which is better looking, girls or women?
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.