Age jokes
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
Virgos are always virgins to age 17... Just saying.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Yo mama is so old that she had the first written copy of the Bible.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
There's a sexy milf that lives next door. The only thing better is her 8 Y/O.
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.