Age jokes
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
Virgos are always virgins to age 17... Just saying.
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Memes
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a midlife crisis.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.