Age jokes
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a midlife crisis.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!