Aed jokes
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.