Aed jokes

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?

A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.

I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."

Why did Steven Hawkins die?

Because he got a virus.

Why did the butt let out a fart?

Answer: To wipe out humanity!

What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?

SPACE.

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.

What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?

I don't know. I forgot.

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."

Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?

A: AIDS.

Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.