Aed jokes

Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.

He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"

A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.

Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*

Friend: Are you okay?

Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!

Why does the large dildo not have any friends?

He's a pain in the ass.

As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.

"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

"Islam it is."

What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?

Suicide squad.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?

A: He could not use his mother's credit card.

Everyone, take off your pride flags; it's already a new month.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?

The fridge actually runs.

What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?

A: Garry Glitter's boots.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.

Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?

Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."