Aed jokes
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.
Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.
Sans: Kid, I will kill you.
Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!