Aed jokes

How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.

Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?

Capture the flag.

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

How is a priest like a wristwatch?

They both start at 12.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.

On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"