Aed jokes
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"